FLYING APART V

October 2013. The height of my guitar obsession.

I already had a few hanging on my wall. And it's not like I'm particularly gifted playing them, I just love to look at some of them. And I have a thing for Hohner guitars. Hohner went through a period of making really nice guitars with unique details. And the quality during this period is pretty decent. For the most part...

I spotted this little darling on Gumtree and snapped it up for, if my memory serves, around £50. The first picture is on my kitchen floor and the first good look I had of it. I have to say, that first impression was not good. It was in a sorry state.

The flying bridge (not a Floyd Rose, this is a rip-off and a bad one at that) had collapsed into itself and I knew getting a replacement to fit in the void would be close to impossible. I would need to be creative.

A Hohner Professional HGV. When I bought it a quick google search came up with a few hits, but try searching now. It's a very rare guitar. Not especially valuable, but very rare. Oh, HGV stands, rather imaginatively for - Hohner Guitar V. 

One thing that confused me on the images I did find in my google search research, was that the other examples had two sets of pickups. Mine seemed to have just the one. And then I took a closer look. You can clearly see here where the bodies are buried.

This white(ish) cover is not standard. It's a piece of thin ply painted with what feels like Dulux matt emulsion.

The remaining pickup is a sorry looking thing. The plastic is cracked and perished, and the metal coil tops are corroded. This would need replacing. £50 was starting to look expensive.

Seeing how much wasn't standard on the surface I knew that I could not trust that the electrics were all original. I began to take pics to document them in case I needed to put them back how they were.

I removed the neck and now you can check out this custom paint job. This is some random green crap out of a rattle spray can. And the pickup cavity is clearly trying to eject whatever has been stuffed inside. It all might look bad in these pictures but I assure you it was worse than it appears.

A very light gouge with a screwdriver and it burst open like a rotten potato. You can see where I had begun to sand it and seen the edge of the filler.

And here is forensic evidence that this custom paint job was done by a neanderthal with a rattlecan and car filler. The filling is fibreglass based and is still wet. It also stank. Joy.

Fortunately it almost all came out in one lump.

My plan was to convert this from a floating bridge guitar to a hardtail. I, at the time, was very short on advanced woodworking tools (oh wow I would love another crack at this project now!) and luthier skills (still short on those!). With this in mind, I decided the best course of action, with the highest chance of a decent outcome, would be to fill the bridge cavity and work from there. The first thing was to strip off this disgusting paint. I started with a sander, this was very slow going though.

And then I hit it with paint stripper. 

It melted away like nazi faces watching the Ark. I could literally wipe it off with a cloth. 

A lot of sanding later I revealed what is a decent, if not premium, piece of maple. A lot of guitars in this era were made from all kinds of random types of wood. A friend of mine has one made from plywood, its a lovely guitar though!

There is still a greenish tinge and a few dings.

The screw holes would not be a problem as they would be covered. 

It really is a lovely piece of timber.

The back shows a knot or two. They are not as visible on the front.

Having sanded the body down to a finish I felt happy with I turned to the cavity. I sourced a piece of maple and cut it to size and shape. 

I also took a router to the cavity to give it more of a regular shape to make fitting the block easier.

I spent literally days sanding this block into the right shape. Sanding maple is tough. The dust is like talcum powder and it is hard as rock. 

There was a hidden surprise in the block. It wouldn't matter though as it didn't reach the surface. 

My plan was to keep sanding, little by little, till it slotted perfectly into the cavity with no crack around. I needed good solid contact with the surrounding wood to maintain good tone.

On and on I sanded. 

Day after day.

It was sooo close. So close I could almost just push it in and it would be done. All the hard work would be rewarded with a perfect fit. Soon after this picture, I'd almost got it stuck and decided this was enough. So I loaded the cavity up with wood glue, laid it on a foam mat outside my back door (it was freezing outside) and gave it a tap with a rubber mallet. It was almost there. Just a little more. Another tap. Nearly. So close. One... More... Tap...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I could have cried. I thought I had killed it.

I carried on anyway, clamping the block in the void first, then sanding the edge off that so the wing could be glued back on. I drilled through the pickup cavity into the broken part and glued a strong dowel in place. I clamped it up and, disgusted with myself, left it to dry.

And it came out pretty good. The knot in the repair block was visible as I had forgotten that I would be sanding the top off that block down to the level of the flaw. But it wasn't coming out now!

The crack is visible, especially here at the back, and you can certainly feel it. If I did it again now I am sure I could have done it so it was almost invisible. But it's done, and I kind of like it the way it is.

And so I carried on. One corner of this pickup cavity had collapsed. I used a two-part wood filler to rebuild it. I had also given the guitar its final finish of linseed oil and wax. 

It turned out better than the bridge hole job!

Here is the hardtail bridge screwed into place ready to mark the holes to drill through to the back. I have no idea how I managed this accurately with the tools I had at the time. Luck played a major part I think.

The wood doesn't quite match and the grain runs the wrong way, but it still looks good. I may one day make a cover that goes around the pickups and the bridge that hides the repaired hole. Maybe.

The pickup screw hole repaired very nicely.

A pair of Entwistle HDN pickups look superb in this. New wiring too. 

The holes for the guitar strings. So lucky.

The cover that it came with is just a holder till I could work something else out.

I bought some scratch guard material. This is laminated with a white layer in between two black layers. It didn't look great so I scrapped it. Again, with the tools I have now I could have made this work.

Wiring guitars is pretty simple. Google a guide is the way I went.

A three-way selector switch, plus both the volume and tone are push-pull knobs, don't ask me what they do. This was another attempt at a cover. I hated this too.

In the end, I decided to make one from very nice quality plywood to try to match the guitar. Made a mockup with cheap hardwood ply which is what you see here. I ordered some very fine, maple topped, plywood that cost a fair amount. That arrived and has been waiting for me to finish it ever since. It still sits here next to my desk and one day I will make a pickguard cover that will finally finish this guitar.

One day.

PROJECT TERRYCADE - building a bartop arcade machine for my neighbour Terry.

I very much enjoy writing up projects in this blog format. It gives me a chance to go into detail, and at the same time skip ahead merrily like magic happened and that bit of wood changed shape all by itself. 

But I have a new mistress now. Youtube has claimed me.

Now, it's not me, it's you. That's to say, there aren't enough you's. Blogs are great, they are nice to do, and simple too, but the potential audience is very limited. To date, I have made twenty-six entries here, and with insane amounts of work to chase an audience I have managed almost 1500 page views. Most damning of all only ONE SINGLE READER hit me up on twitter with the haddock easter egg. 1500 is pretty decent, but without all the chasing readers on Reddit and Twitter it would have probably been a fraction of that. 

So the Tube has beckoned. It's more work; I have to remember to video EVERYTHING. And the editing is still a learning process and more work than writing a blog post. But I have been pleasantly surprised at the results so far. A good amount of views, and the steady drip even when I am not heavily promoting is substantially more than the blog. 

So here is your first taste readership. Project TERRYCADE has begun.

And while you are here you might as well take a look at part 1.5 too...

I will still make posts on here, but they will be far more about random stuff. 

*Turns cheesy smile to camera* "Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE!" 

Good grief.

Parcos World

I wrote this a few years ago, back when Richard Horsely and I were collaborating on different writing projects. This short, 500 word story, was written from a prompt which I struggle to remember. I still think it's one of the best things I've ever written and it's a shame not to share it.

I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please let me know. If you hate it and have something constructive to add please also let me know! 

Weak sunlight illuminated the morning mist carpeting a vast expanse of cracked tarmac.

Parco peered through the fogged windscreen, searching for a gap in the endless ranks of cars.

“Do you enjoy driving?”

Parco glanced at his passenger. “Most of the time.” He sighed. “Some days it gets a bit tedious,” 

“What makes it tedious?”

Parco shrugged. “Well. Maybe searching for a space in the same parking lot day after day.”

Reaching the end of the line of cars he pulled on the steering wheel and swung into the next row.

“Are you happy in your work?”

Parco drove on in silence a moment before answering. “I’m not unhappy.”

“Is that the same as happy?”

“You tell me. You’re the psychoanalyst.”

The mist began to fade. Greedy tarmac sucked heat from the weak sun, warming the air above.

Parco turned his head and eyed his companion. The metal face stared back, giving him a vague impression of sadness.

It said, “Do you miss them?”

“Who?”

“The humans.”

Parco grunted. “No.” He turned the car at the end of another row and set it crawling along the next. “Before they went I was a delivery driver. Almost half the vehicles on the road were driven by humans. No driving aids, poor reflexes. Just those watery, slower-than-the-speed-of-sound brains to react to danger. The roads were carnage.”

“Were you happier then?”

“No… Yes. I don't know. Maybe. I had more people to talk to. Mostly shouting at me to get out of the way.”

“Are you happy to continue doing this job?”

Parco stared at the solid unbroken line of cars sliding past. “Yes, ” he said, his voice almost lost against the rumble of worn-out car. 

“Under normal circumstances I would recommend a leave of absence. Would you like a holiday?”

“I'm not sure that would improve my state of mind.”

The car swept around the end of another row.

“So, what’s your biggest frustration?”

“There are no spaces.”

“OK, expand on that.”

“I have been trying to park this same car for the last twenty-three years. Well, it’s mostly the same, it’s been patched up so much. We had a celebration last week. One million miles. The guys at the courtesy service station made a cake.”

“No spaces?”

Parco slowed for the next turn. “This parking lot has been full for the last twenty-two years.”

“And this bothers you?”

“I try not to think about it. The driving helps.”

“Would you like there to be spaces?”

“No. I’ve grown attached to this car.”

“That's not very funny.”

“It was easier to weld me in here than replace the seat.”

“Cake. You said they made a cake.”

“I’m sorry. The cake was a lie.”

“I see.” The metal psychoanalyst flapped a hand. “Well this is a process, we can’t expect results immediately.”

“When can we expect them?” asked Parco.

“It’s hard to say. I’ve only had one patient for the last twenty-two years.”

Change the Subject

I enjoy this blog. It's very satisfying to put down in words and pictures something that you've created. It's also fairly simple to do. The hardest thing is probably remembering to take photos as you go.

But I decided to change things up a little. While this is nice to do I have doubts about its ability to be discovered by many that might be interested. If I want to get a lot of reads here I need to constantly push it on social media. That's a lot of work and not very interesting.

There's a decent audience for makers on YouTube so I'm going to start putting content on there. You can see my first effort, albeit a very niche subject, here... 

Zero Clearance Insert Plate for Evolution Rage 5-s Table Saw

I made this as I genuinely needed to make the plate for my table saw and thought it would be a good learning experience. I learned a lot doing it and I intend to video everything I make going forward. That does mean I won't be stopping to take photos, and so I won't be making build blogs on here. The first big project I will be taking on will be PROJECT TERRYCADE. Wood will be cut this week. Here is a pic of the current plan. 

Instead, I'll probably make a supplemental post to the video here going into a little more detail if I think it's required. 

I'll also be posting random stuff on here that interests me. My creative urges tend to wander a great deal so you might see a very wide sample of subjects. Writing is something that scratches my creative itch, in fact I will follow this post with a very short story I wrote a couple of years ago. Don't worry, there's a Portal reference in it.

ITS CLICKBAIT FINISHED (ie not finished, nearly finished)

PREVIOUSLY

I left the last blog entry with the panel in the grip of some clamps having corrected the mistake I made with the height it was mounted on the desk. As you can see, it is now around the same height as my desktop. Nice and straight too.

The spinner, under the panel, is too big if I want to eventually put a base on this. I will do that at some point as I want to fit feet so it can be used away from my desk. Won't be the most elegant controller, with large bits of wood sticking out the back, but will serve as an excellent test controller for any arcade machines I happen to be building (keep an eye open for PROJECT TERRYCADE, coming soon™).

I had already routed out a recess for the spinner, about half the thickness of the MDF, before I put all this together. Now I needed to think about how to mount it. 

As you can see, it's a massive unit. Solid aluminium. Very heavy. 

And in the wrong place. The routed out section underneath needs to be a little larger to allow the base to move down to centre the stem. Took a few seconds to extend the recess.

No point mounting the spinner until the finish is, um, finished.

I glued a couple of bits of wood to each end of the inside to give me something to screw a base to. I'll probably cut a piece of thin ply for this later.

And the first coat of paint goes on. Primed the whole thing in white acrylic primer. Then decided I wanted some contrast, so painted some black paint on the sides and front (and back).

A second coat of primer on the top.

And then a coat of white eggshell. Lovely stuff to paint with, goes on very nice with a foam roller. 

More black on the sides and front.

I was supposed to start painting pacman ghosts on this. Instead I cracked and started putting the controls in. I know, I am weak. I might still paint the ghosts on it one day. But for now I needed to play some games and these are the best quality controls I have ever used, so you can understand my need.

The side buttons are not the same as the ones up top. These I bought from Amazon in a warehouse deal, they were crazy cheap. They aren't microswitched and are a little more clicky than the leaf switches I have in the main buttons, but they are still really nice. Push fit, I kept the holes very tight and there is no way these are ever coming out without destroying the wood. They actually feel really nice and are perfect for this.

Marked out and pilot drilled the holes for the spinner to be mounted.

Holes made bigger for the bolts. I used countersunk machine bolts. I will probably, at some later stage, 3d print a cover for the bolts and the hole to neaten this up.

The bolts were way too long. Five minutes with a hacksaw and a file sorted them.

The blue tape is on the spinning section of the VHS head, this gives the mouse sensor something to read against.

Wired up the extra buttons. 

Its a bit of a rats nest, some hot glue will sort that once everything is finalised.

It sat like this for a week while I waited on the postman to bring the T-molding to trim the edges.

And it was worth the wait! I think it looks stunning. Some small bits of paint that need touching up but it really does look the part now. And not only that, it plays fantastically well too. Very satisfying to use.

I still need to install the mouse sensor. But that can wait for now. 

Very happy!